and you said...

Posted by attribbidda at 03:30 AM on November 23, 2009.

After all that's said and done...

You finally said: "Are you still mad at me?"

I said: " I'm not really mad at you, I just can't be."

You said: "Can we be friends again?"

I said: "Sure. :)"

Then you said: "I can feel our friendship will be better. I'm just not ready, yet."

 

~ F*KC! I hate myself... so much. For feeling this way towards you, for even fantasizing about that flirty "I'm just not ready, yet" line you threw at my face, for thinking that one day, you'll wake up and realize that the girl that you're looking for is me. I soo effin' hate myself for this, and yet, I don't understand why I keep on logging onto FB and hoping against all hope that you'd be online so we can talk.

I need a hug. *wipes tears*

Currently feeling: confused

1 Comments

where's my unhappy ending?

Posted by kopout at 07:41 PM on November 22, 2009.

maybe now is the time to pull out.

maybe now there will be enough impact to break his heart as he broke mine.

i'm a cold hard bitch

and i'm driven, goddammit.

will this save my opinion of myself?

will this salvage the person i was from the depths of my self-hatred?

forget it.

so much of the life "essentials" have been ruined for me forever.

friendship and love and sex mean little to me.

conquer, conquest, now those are words i can enjoy.

my self esteem only benefits from the hunt.

i'm trapped. i'm bored.

i'm pointless.

there's no draw to attempting to go back to the person i was now.

it's not possible anyhow.

 

 

ugh. i hate having any emotion at all. i hate being anything more or less than a success machine.

it's a livejournal kind of life.

Currently listening to: stars
Currently reading: crap i wrote

Comment

all I know is...

Posted by attribbidda at 03:24 AM on November 20, 2009.

"I'm gonna be ok..."

*wipes tears*

Currently listening to: Better in Time - Leona Lewis
Currently reading: Widmann's Clinical Interpretation of Laboratory Tests
Currently feeling: needing a hug

1 Comments

Just another random entry...

Posted by attribbidda at 04:33 AM on November 15, 2009.

I really don't know why people like HIM still make me feel this way...

*wipes tears*

Comment

Books

Posted by kaktus at 03:25 AM on November 14, 2009 in ISKAktus, The Cooler Life.

I bought the two books!


AGH. Must stop buying stuff to make me genuinely happy and start saving for Kurecolors. :(

Do the 2-point perspective or start the book? Tricky.

Decided to read the book and cram the 2-point. It's a no-brainer, really.


COLIN FIRTH BEING MENTIONED IN BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON! *happiness*

The immortal wet shirt scene from P&P? Check.
The crazy fangirlish interview? Wicked fun.
The madness? CHECK.

Why did I not consider Comparative Literature or Creative Writing? :|

I mean, seriously.

(DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR! Despite the cutthroat competition that I was never accustomed to, the sleepless nights, the barely tolerable classmates *cough* and the shitty plates in between, I can genuinely say that I love my course.)

But it wouldn't hurt to imagine what life would be like if it's an entirely different course. I could say to people that I'm "studying" while reading a juicy book and not be lying.

3 Comments